10 Must-Learn Lessons for Women Entrepreneurs

Things to remember to stay productive and sane

The day of my first business anniversary passed quietly without any fanfare or gala or glossy newsletter to mark it, just a standard day’s worth of work to do. But I have been reflecting a bit about what I’ve learned.

Here are some of the lessons that were important in my first year of business, in no particular order:

Not all the seeds I plant will bloom.

Ideas aren’t enough. Sometimes, a great idea just isn’t right for this time or this context or for my skillset. Sometimes, an idea I thought was great isn’t really all that great. And just like in gardening, sometimes I must pluck out an idea just as it’s beginning to sprout in order to give another one more space to flourish.

There is no DIY project as immersive as entrepreneurship, and it is up to me to choose what I tend to and, also, to let go of what isn’t working.

It is equally as liberating as it is paralyzing in its freedom.

When everything is available to you, it’s hard to know what direction to pursue, or what seeds to plant and tend. But it is the choosing — the commitment to a direction — that allows me to go from starting to finishing. And ultimately, that’s how progress is made and portfolios are built: Starting and finishing.

Passion in business is a lot like passion in relationships.

The beginning of a relationship is typically marked by that wild, all-consuming passion when everything is new and exciting. Flaws are overlookable, quirks are cute, and you’re still wearing your best underwear.

But, I’m not convinced that’s really passion; instead, that’s where passion begins. The real magic lies in what happens when the initial excitement wears off. True passion is slow-boiling.

As my upward trajectory into entrepreneurship began feeling more like an uphill climb, the hot excitement of initial passion simmered; I needed something more to sustain me — patience.

I have to trust in myself and in the process. I have to be willing to put in the work even when it’s not glamorous or Instagram-worthy. The work behind long-term success can be tedious at times, and it isn’t always something you can snap, filter, and post. Working on accounting spreadsheets and massaging my carpal tunnels aren’t nearly as exciting as conferences or traveling, but — alas! — that’s what it takes to build from the ground up.

It’s okay to feast, but be sure to prepare for the famine. (Winter is coming.)

There was a stretch of time within my first year that I was making more money than I had ever made before, and it actually made me a little uncomfortable. (I didn’t really know what to do with money because I had never really had any.) I was scared to spend it, scared to get used to having it, and scared to be stupid with it.

But a good friend of mine who had been in business for herself for years told me at the very beginning of my adventure, “No matter how good business is, you need to prepare for the droughts. I don’t mean to scare you, but they will happen.”

For most of this first year, I had so much work that I was barely managing it all well. I had to turn down work but still had several more projects lined up for when many of the others were scheduled to end, and I even managed to build in a two-week break; everything was going just as I had planned. But then, fairly swiftly, each of the projects that I had in the pipeline fell through, or got downsized or delayed, and I was back at square one.

Though I did upgrade some creature comforts along the way — like finally replacing that 15-year-old mattress — and pay for an accountant, I had saved all the “extra” to cover living expenses when a dry spell hit. And I’m happy that I did — I’m happy that I invested back into myself, my family, and our wellbeing by both spending smartly and saving for the trouble spots.

No matter what those “inspirational” posts tell me, I do not have the same number of hours in a day as Beyoncé.

I’m going out on a limb here, but I’m fairly confident that this is a list of things that Beyoncé doesn’t have to do: Grocery shop. Meal plan. Wash, chop, prepare, or cook food. Sweep, vacuum, dust, scrub bathrooms, or clean countertops. Laundry. Walk the dog. Wait in line. Run errands. Write proposals. Drive.

I’m not saying that this is a comprehensive list, and I’m also not saying that there isn’t a whole other list of time-consuming annoyances that she has in her life that I don’t have in mine. But what I am saying is that comparing my time to Beyoncé’s time is inherently unfair.

We’re not exactly on a level playing field.

Because we’re living in a hyper-connected world, it is very easy for us to compare our journeys and successes and progress to the perception of what everyone else around us is doing and achieving. We trick ourselves into thinking that these comparisons are fair.

If I am constantly comparing myself to the carefully curated images of others, I will always think I am lacking, that my progress is never enough, or that my path is not as worthy.

What I have each day is not what Beyoncé has each day, but what she and I do share is the ability to take what we have and make it into something more.

I really CAN do this!

Though I still wrestle with imposter syndrome and self-doubt at times, I’ve successfully started a business! It’s been around for a year! And it’s growing! How cool is that?!

Shake more hands.

I’m not a big fan of “networking” in the traditional sense, and I’m not particularly good at it.

I am more interested in building relationships with interesting people who care about their work and communities, and who do cool things. Relationship-building is more about the long haul, though, which doesn’t really help in the immediate context of building a client pipeline or securing work that will pay next month’s bills.

Since my business can’t grow unless I do, I have to step out of my home office and away from my comfort zone, and I have to say “Yes” to more things, even when I can’t see the linear path to an invoice. I went to a basketball game and three weeks later ended up with a client because I was “top of mind.”

You just never know.

Have a 30-second answer to the inevitable question, “What do you do?”

I provide project support when organizations want to implement a change, whether big or small. I’m also a writer, and I enjoy helping people tell their stories.

I’ve found that this answer typically prompts follow-up questions, which is the desired effect.

I used to just issue a dry list of “services” that tasted distinctly like buzzword soup when it rolled through my mouth. I hated it, and so it’s probably fair to assume that listeners hated it, too.

Because I solve an array of business problems, it’s hard to narrow it down to a sound bite that really encompasses everything that I do. So, the best thing I can do is answer in a way that sparks a conversation, and hopefully one that clues me in to a need or a curiosity that the other person has, which then gives me an opportunity to tailor my next responses to something they are uniquely interested in.

Still a work in progress, though.

Don’t forget to have fun.

The line between work and life hasn’t been clear for me since I started working from home several years ago. For me, this often leads to unhappiness on both sides — never feeling like I’m doing enough work because life has a reliable knack for getting in the way, and yet never feeling like I’m getting enough time to just live life because I’m always working.

Not good. Especially since the whole allure of working from home and/or working for yourself is that you get to live and work on your own terms. (Theoretically, anyway.)

Rather than pursuing “work/life balance,” as though my time and attention are constantly being measured on imaginary scales, I have learned instead that the goal is to enjoy myself without guilt.

It’s okay to enjoy my work. It’s also okay to enjoy not working.

Worth and importance are not measured by how little free time I have.

I refuse to trade in my peace for the Cult of Busy.

On one hand, I like a full schedule as much as the next entrepreneur because it usually means a big pay day is coming. The difference, I feel, is remembering that I choose to have a full schedule; I am not a victim of my calendar. These things filling my time are not impositions, but things with which I have chosen to fill my life.

On the other hand, when I have time to spare, it is because I have prioritized rest and chosen to slow down for a bit for some blue-sky time and rejuvenation. That’s a good thing. And it’s not something everyone gets the opportunity to do.

I have so much to be thankful for.

I have an opportunity, relatively early in my career, to build something that’s mine, and in the process, I can go on a bike ride with my daughter in the middle of a summer day and still show her what hard work, dedication, and entrepreneurship look like.

So, with one year down, cheers to the struggles and to the beauty. I am happy on this path, and I’m looking forward to what year two has in store.